Politically correct community activists Jack and Becky journeyed to The Forum in Inglewood, California for UFC 199 with a well-intended petition to ban punching and kicking from the sport.
Labelled “hippie protesters” by UFC president Dana White, the pair interviewed several fans as well as fighters Donald ‘Cowboy’ Cerrone, Michael ‘The Count’ Bisping, Urijah ‘The California Kid’ Faber, Luke ‘The Rooster Who Leaves No Hen Unruffled’ Rockhold, and UFC president Dana White.
The pair explained to Cerrone that they were forced to take action when a classmate beat up their child doing UFC moves.
Cowboy was blunt.
“You all are crazy,” he explained. However, Hippie Jack was unswayed.
“I would make the argument that it’s crazy to savagely beat another human being,” he retorted.
The Count was blunter still.
“You’re preaching to people, when deep inside, you’re wicked and evil,” charged Bisping.
The pair were supportive that Bisping was having feelings.
The California Kid used verbal Jiu-Jitsu, and steered the pair towards Dana White.
Dana is a unisex name. Like Jamie (Jamie Bell and Jamie Lee Curtis), Morgan (Morgan Freeman and Morgan Fairchild), and Taylor (Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift) Dana (White and Queen Latifah, whose real name is Dana Elaine Owens) is a name for both men and women, and so the silly hippies thought Dana White was a female.
“I think that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life,” explained White.
It was not until the pair ran into Luke Rockhold that Becky came to appreciate a different side to mixed martial arts.
“The only reason any other man gets laid, is because Luke Rockhold wasn’t there first…”
Joe Hogan
To support the fight against fights, please use hashtag #TLCnotUFC. To not support the fight against fights, please watch UFC 200 on July 9, 2016, live from the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Please note, Jack and Becky are not hippie community activists. They are actors, who appear as continuing characters in segments on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The only thing real was Becky has a huge crush on Luke Rockhold. But then, who doesn’t?
