THE INVERSE NINJA LAW
Everything has rules.
Don’t spit into the wind, don’t forget to dance, be passionate, thou shalt not kill, floss.
Kung Fu movies are no exception.
The Inverse Ninja Law states that One ninja is an elite and powerful adversary; multiple ninjas make a group of faceless and incompetent pawns. The more of the Big Bad’s mooks, the less competent they are.
The rule internally makes sense. Were reality to intrude, the hero, outnumbered, would get beat up. Then End. That’s not a winning script.
So the hero has to tear through the horde of mooks to prove that he is a badass, capable of having a face off with the Big Bad. This is made possible through “mook chivalry – the rule that goons will fight the hero one at a time, rather than bum rushing him en masse.
For one in a vast river of sterling examples, check out the restaurant scene from Way of the dragon/Return of the Dragon.
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There are few things more dangerous in a Kung Fu movie than having no name. A similar rule can be found in the original Star Trek, where every episode opened with Kirk and a couple of individuals with anmes, plus some security officers in red, beaming down to an unknown planet. “You two,” Kirk would say the hapless men, “go check behind that rock…”
THE IMPROBABLE TRAINING GAUNTLET LAW
The training gauntlet did not begin with Rocky eating raw eggs, punching meat, and running up museum steps. It began with Kung Fu movies, and no Chop Socky flick is complete without one.
The training cannot be comprised of roadwork, hitting the bags, and sparring. That would be probable.
The Karate Kid had the extended Wax on Wax off sequence. And the improbably gauntle of training in Bloodsport was so well received, they are going to do it again. 1978’s The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, has 35 chambers of weirdness (the 36 chamber is a relatively normal class, so that townspeople can learn to defend themselves).
Here is one chamber, where you have to spin a powersaw blade with a staff, while reaching between an upward and a downward array of sharp wooden stakes.
Watch the 36th Chamber of Shaolin online.
THE ONE WEAKNESS LAW
This one goes back in Western culture as well, dating at least to the mythical Achilles.
No matter how thorough the Big Bad’s defensive skills or Iron Body/Iron Armor training has been, there is always one weakness.
In Return of the Dragon, the Mafia boss says if Tang Lung doesn’t leave town by Chinese New Year, he will bring in an assassin. Colt, played by Chuck Norris, shows up and is defeating Bruce Lee until it is learned that he cannot handle rhythm.
Georges St-Pierre, take note.
In Invincible Armour, the hero has to go through all 109 potential vulnerable spots, all the while guarding against Eagle Claw attacks, before he finally learns the One Weakness:
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H/T Jim Vorel for Paste Magazine
