Sometimes you make good decisions, sometimes you don’t. If you find yourself in a streetfight, which is a stupid and dangerous thing to do, you probably made a bad decision.
But if you find yourself locked in a samurai showdown with wooden weapons in the street, you probably made several bad decisions.
That’s what Tony does. He makes bad decisions, and not just the cell phone belt holster or dog tags outside your clothes kind of decisions. Through whatever course of events that led to this moment, Tony decided there was nowhere he would rather be than in the street, brandishing his walking stick like a sword against a man who is armed with a giant piece of scrap wood.
His opponent thought better of it though, and threw down his weapon. So Tony did what a sensible, reasonable person would do. He gave the man an out. Tony let the man have the last word and leave with his pride, so that no one got hurt.
Just kidding. Tony doesn’t do things like that.
Tony decided to get into a heated trash-talking session with the guy, who told Tony that his tongue was sticky.
Tony zinged him back, My tongue’s sticky; my hand’s not.
(If anyone knows what any of this means, please leave a comment.)
The now unarmed guy had heard enough, and challenged Tony to drop his walking stick so that they could fight. Tony thought about what a terrible idea that was for exactly zero seconds before happily dropping his weapon and stepping back into the street.
Now, you might be thinking, Tony seems to have some trouble with decision making as it pertains to risk assessment, but surely he can’t screw this up anymore, right?
Wrong.
How about sticking your chin out to taunt your opponent and eating a bazillion punches? Yep, that’s so Tony!
As for the knockout, words like devastating and frightening get thrown around a lot in click-bait titles, but this one is pretty brutal. There’s a joke in here somewhere about Tony’s bad decision making and brain damage, but in all honesty, this one is no laughing matter.
Mike Pesesko is a personal trainer, martial artist, self-defense enthusiast and writer. You can hire him to make you less fat or less likely to get your ass kicked at rkmtraining.com. Neither his hands nor his tongue are sticky.
