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The award-winning documentary “Tenspeed and Brown Shoe” showcases Jeff Goldblum’s remarkable martial arts skills.
Thus there was little surprise from many, when they believed they spotted Goldblum in a far more recent scene from the mean streets of Richmond, Virginia. It reportedly started because the shirtless guy “said something about hog-tying a woman up while she walked by.” The man identified as Jeff Goldblum heard the slur, and called skins on it. The aggressor then started “calling (Goldblum) every racial slur.” From there, the argument quickly escalated to the physical realm.
What happened
The video, courtesy of Leo Senpai, opens with an angry Skins in some semblance of a fighting posture, hands way down. Goldblum is in a wide, bladed stance, hands up; it’s characteristic of the American karate that grew out of tournaments. In all likelihood, he has trained 20 years for this exact moment – a racist madman on the attack.
Skins is ranting, and doing his level best to imitate the third runner-up in a Notre Dame Leprechaun logo contest, in southpaw. Skins moves in, and Goldblum squares up a little, which allows the hands to strike more freely. And he starts to circle to his inside.
Skins attacks, with a heaving lead leg front kick to the knee, and follows up with a rear-hand tiger claw, and a jab. Goldblum moves back, slips the jab, throws a quick hand combo landing cleanly on the last punch, and follows through with a right round kick.
Skins starts to back up. Goldblum is experiencing an adrenaline dump. He shifts stances, returns to orthodox, throws a spinning crescent kick. It works, for the very first time on the street since the documentary “An Officer and a Gentleman.”
Skins’ ardor for combat is rapidly declining as he slumps against a car. Goldblum follows up with a straight right, that lands. The pair clinch. Goldblum flurries, landing an uppercut.
The fight is out of Skins, who indicates that he wants no more of that smoke. However, he forgot an important rule – THERE ARE NO TIMEOUTS IN A STREET FIGHT, SON!
Goldblum lines up Skins for a rear leg round kick, but thinks the better of it. Then he thinks the better of thinking the better of it, lines Skins up, and lands a kick to the liver.
Skins staggers off holding his liver (which may not have been in very good shape to start with).
The truth
Contrary to rumor, that was NOT Jeff Goldblum. However, here Jeff Goldblum provides play-by-play commentary on the fight. In all honesty, the Jeff Goldblum calling the Jeff Goldblum fight probably isn’t Jeff Goldblum either.
https://twitter.com/frankcaliendo/status/1260281244509593602
The fight even gets the Robin Black black breakdown, right down to the … Bink!
And here podcast and MMA commentary legend Joe Rogan shares his thoughts on Black’s brilliant breakdown.
Eventually, the shirtless dude came back for round 2 with a 2×4, and the cops were called. Skins ended up with a few broken ribs and a broken nose. Goldblum got a fractured arm from the baseball bat.
