A Brief History of Touch Butt in MMA
When UFC featherweight champion Conor McGregor wanted an edge, he sought out the Israel-born Ido Portal. Portal promotes what he calls Movement Culture. While the core of the practice may be sound, the expression of it by Portal is possessed by a grandiosity rivaled only by Derek Zoolander.
Read the quotes below, and try to identify whether is came from Portal or Zoolander.
“The body will become better at whatever you do, or don’t do. If you don’t move, your body will make you better at not moving. If you move, your body will allow more movement.”
“Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”
“I view it as a limited world. A world with many problems. A polluted world…But actually people who practice movement never miss anything. It was always there.”
“How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can’t even fit inside the building?”
In the build up to UFC 196, Nate Diaz offered his opinion of Movement Training.
“You’ve got no training partners,” said Diaz, as transcribed by FOX Sports. “Who do you train with? You’ve got that one little goofy f***er with you. I’ve got real training partners. Top-10 fighters. Top-10 boxers. Top-10 jiu-jitsu guys. Top-10 kickboxers.
“You’re playing touch-butt with that dork in the park with the ponytail, and I’m the one who ain’t got no training partners? I don’t think so. You seem to have it all figured out when you’re fighting midgets. You got s***.”
Diaz of course won in the second. And Touch Butt became a thing in MMA.
However, Diaz said it like it’s a bad thing. UFC ring card girls Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer did some actual touch butt, during a recent lingerie photo shoot.
Arianny or Brittney represents one of the great cultural divides – Mary Ann or Ginger, Betty or Veronica, Velma or Daphne. However, does anyone choose Velma? Or Arianny? Both can be seen Saturday at UFC on FOX 21 in Vancouver, BC.
