While we were busy speculating wildly about what might happen if Mostapha Al-Turk really does file an appeal with the UFC over his loss via eye-poke at UFC 99 in Germany, Robert Joyner at MMA Payout went ahead and looked at what the standard Zuffa contract has to say about a situation like this. What a show-off that guy is. Anyway, here’s what he found:

 Any and all Bouts that occur in a jurisdiction or country without an Athletic Commission shall be conducted pursuant to the statutes, rules and regulations of the State of Nevada in effect at the time of the Bout, including, but not limited to, the Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts (the Nevada Rules); for the protection of the health and safety of the Fighter, to promote fairness in the administration of the Bout, and to preserve the integrity of the sport of mixed martial arts. In its sole discretion, ZUFFA may utilize the Nevada Rules in the oversight of any Bouts that occur under this Subsection 4.7. Fighter may appeal any advisory opinion by ZUFFA regarding any violations of the Nevada Rules relating only to Bouts that occur in a jurisdiction or country without an official government mandated Athletic Commission to an independent third-party arbitrator or arbitration panel selected pursuant to the guidelines developed by the American Arbitration Association. All costs and fees associated with an appeal taken pursuant to this Section shall be the exclusive responsibility of the Fighter. Regardless of where a Bout occurs, in no event shall a Fighter have any right to appeal a decision by ZUFFA relating to the UFC Title or the UFC Championship belts.

Wow, that was a lot of stuff. Because I’m assuming you didn’t read it all but instead skimmed it much like you skimmed The Sun Also Rises in high school (spoiler alert: they get drunk the whole time and watch some bull fights), I’ll do my best to sum up.

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