The 10 worst MMA fights of all time
Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites UFC 97 UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva is widely regarded as the best striker to…
Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites UFC 97
UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva is widely regarded as the best striker to ever fight in MMA. He dodges punches like he’s in the Matrix and holding a NES Advantage. In the time it takes you to tell your foot to kick, he’s circled behind you and built a bear trap under it. It’s suicide to attack him. However, there’s one problem with being Anderson Silva: everyone knows that you’re Anderson Silva. Everyone who fights him is scared to death to get close. Let’s try to attack the problem logically.
1. Anderson Silva is waiting for you to punch him.
2. That guy is Anderson Silva.
3. Don’t fucking punch that guy.
Paulo Filho vs. Chael Sonnen WEC 36
Chael Sonnen has a reputation of being a lay and pray fighter. This refers to a mixed martial artist who lays on you and prays no one gets a boner. Sonnen once called fighters lazy for trying to knock people out. To those unfamiliar with competitive sports, this is like a coworker hauling a tuba into the office because getting music from radios is lazy. Actually, it’s a little crazier than that. Let’s upgrade the analogy to being like a coworker microwaving bowls of his own shit because it’s lazy to use the city’s sewage treatment.
Harold Howard vs. Royce Gracie UFC 3
Harold Howard was a walking police sketch. He was a crazy-eyed hillbilly with a mullet and his idea of fitness seemed to be funnel-filtered light beer. Now keep in mind that back at UFC 3, we still thought that a black belt in tae kwon do made you a badass. We were all sure that any day, some 90-year-old Shaolin monk would hear about this U.F.C. and show up to magically fireball everyone to death. But even in our naivety, we took one look at Harold Howard and knew that this is a man who takes karate with 3rd graders; a man with a 0-and-35 record against local law enforcement and 7 no-contests against his wife.
Sakuraba vs. Gilles Arsene Pride 23
Japanese fighting legend Kazushi Sakuraba was at a rough point in his career. After being legally killed twice by Wanderlei Silva and then getting his eye socket broken by Crocop, he needed a nice easy match against someone who wasn’t a gorilla or a cyborg. This is what’s called a tune-up fight. They throw you in with a fighter past his prime or someone doesn’t match up well against you. Well, Pride Fighting Championships was taking no chances.