Barring a sizable and unlikely scandal or implosion — bankruptcy, fight fixing, Dana White going full-on John Rocker in a vlog — there is very little chance the Ultimate Fighting Championship will remain anything other than the premier brand of mixed martial arts in the world.

Rationale: They’ve practically co-opted an entire basic cable station (Spike), offering up to a dozen hours of UFC-centric programming a week; they draw from every conceivable sub-demographic available, from screaming, beer-infused morons to lawyers to beer-infused moron lawyers; and most importantly, they hold majority stake in the world’s best fighters. With no contractual tripwire to navigate, they’re free to make most of the big fights happen easily and quickly. (In boxing, Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida would’ve jawed at each other for a minimum five years before one agreed on a 51/49 purse split.)

Putting the UFC-as-Kleenex analogy to bed for the day, the UFC logo is to MMA as Coca-Cola is to early-onset diabetes. And unfortunately for fans, there is no Pepsi. There may not even be a Fanta.

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