The term ‘bedlam’ coms from Bedlam Hospital, the world’s first mental institution, with “treament” dating back at least since 1403. Townspeople used to go to the hospital and amuse themselves by for example poking the patients with a stick.

MMA can be a little like that sometimes, with every error and shortcoming held up for general mean-spirited amusement. Reffing and announcing vie for the title of most thankless role in MMA. If you do it right, the action is more exciting and no one notices you helped. If you do it wrong, the whole fight world is watching, and it is archived for eternity.

Sometimes though, in the heat of the moment, MMA announcers do say some funny s—. A sampling appears below. The names have largely been omitted to protect the well meaning.

The Hughes brothers used to pound each other behind the barn.

(That would be a different Matt Hughes – Do not image search for Matt Hughes with Safe Search on 🙂

Cheick Kongo is the French Greco Roman Wrestling Champion.

These things happen in MMA.

Said famously after the Strikeforce riot.

Travis Lutter is the Michael Jordan of BJJ.

Mike Goldberg: (Fighter) getting instructions from his corner in portuguese.

Joe Rogan: Uh, actually that’s Japanese.

Goldberg: Ah, yes, I should know better.

Rogan: Isn’t your wife Japanese?

Goldberg: Yes, that is correct.

Chris Lytle is a BJJ black belt.

Chris Lytle to Fight mag: People ask me all the time who I’m a black belt under. I’m not. I don’t even own a gi. I told the UFC, but they keep sayin’ it. What can I do? I told ‘em.

Stephen Quadros: What position is that, Bas?

Bas Rutten: Yay, the head-between the-thighs-position, usually used for another act. The black-widow technique!

Quadros: I must say I have had it done to me a few times.

Lesnar now . . . SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL!

Brandon Vera’s ground game is better than his striking.

Vitor Belfort may be boxing in the Olympics … as a lightweight.

Judu and Sumu are deadly martial arts.

Gray Maynard cuts weight from 200 lbs.

In Japan, they don’t play baseball.

You know Roy Jones Jr. respects the hands of Forrest Griffin.

Marcus Davis’ mother was the best arm wrestler in their neighborhood.

Josh Thomson is MMA’s first openly gay fighter.

Thompson is not openly gay, or closetedly gay, either.

Aaron Riley is the 30 year old Randy Couture of the 40 year old crowd.

Bas Rutten: He has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Stephen Quadros: Yes, well many of the fighters

have a black belt.

Rutten: Yes, but in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu you can’t buy your belt like in say, Tae Kwon Do.

Quadros: Do you have any belts?

Rutten: I have a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do.

Stephan Quadros: It looks like a few of Silva’s knees got through there to Matsui’s nose.

Bas Rutten: Either that or he has really high blood pressure.

Ben Henderson’s Mom is Korean and it would mean so much to her to win the title here in Japan.

Here we are with Seraldo Babalu, you did an awesome job, saw why you’re a black belt in jiu-jitsu, getting an awesome submission there, I want to tell me what you see, let’s go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring.

The Mouth: He’s seeing more openings than a gynecologist.

Frank Trigg: WOW. Really?

Read entire thread…

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