Leslie Smith on Depression and positivity
Leslie Smith: “It’s so hard to break free of that sometimes, because nothing makes you feel anything – you don’t fee good, everything is bad.”
Mark Tullius recently spoke with UFC women’s bantamweight fighter Leslie “The Peacemaker” Smith, as part of his Unlocking the Cage project, on why we fight.
All human beings fight, the only thing that changes is how obvious it is, and how high the stakes are. Smith spoke openly with Tullius about her sometimes fight with depression.
“I get depressed some times,” said Smith. “And it will get really, really rough for a little while … I’ll get really depressed, and I’ll be like ‘Oh, man, this is not the way to be.’ And it’s so hard to break free of that sometimes, because nothing makes you feel anything – you don’t fee good, everything is bad, and it’s really hard to look at the bright side, even when you’re trying.
“When I was doing all that self-destructive behavior – partying with no regard for myself, or anybody else for that matter – it wasn’t about one specific drug. It wasn’t about speed and it wasn’t about coke and it wasn’t even all about alcohol. It was about whatever was there. So it was an escaping thing. It was what can I do to take we out of this reality?
“Why I hated my reality, I don’t know. But I wanted to get away from it. And I did, successfully, for a long time.
“And then, at a certain point … you know, I went through programs, and meetings, and like learn about the whole 12-step thing, which, really, all it did was make me get guilty feelings when I got high after that, but it didn’t make me stop anything.
“It wasn’t until I decided that I want to be a positive person. And even then it was not like I was sober all of a sudden, but it was just a choice to be a positive person. “
“The better that an individual can do for themselves and be positive, and share that positivity, the better they can build up themselves as an individual, the more they have to offer everyone else around them, and every time you are sharing positivity, you are sharing energy. And that energy has so much potential.”
“It can be destructive or it can be good, and we get to choose that, every day. In every second we are choosing if we are making good energy or bad energy.”
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, between 20% and 25% of adults may suffer an episode of major depression at some point during their lifetime. Currently about 6.7% of the U.S. population over age 18 suffers from it. However, it is often stigmatized, complicating the recognition of the issue, and recovering from it.
Brave individuals like Smith speaking out help to cure it.