Don’t Make A Deal With The Devil

My buddy had a girlfriend who acted like Warden Norton from Shawshank Redemption and treated him like Andy Dufresne. She was glued to his hip like he was on 24/7 probation watch, with the only difference being that my friend wasn’t nearly as smart as Dufresne.

Case in point: when she made a deal with him to watch the UFC 100..

He had a great time. And all the while, she was sitting there with her arms folded making small talk and rolling her eyes every time her conversation was broken up by something exciting happening on the TV.

She was there because she knew she had committed her boyfriend to a you owe me clause before they even joined the party. My buddy sold his soul to watch 100 and was stuck taking swing dance lessons for the next three months.

Sounds fun, right? Not really. He broke his wrist and was in a cast for six weeks.

The lesson is simple: Don’t start negotiating your hobbies against hers. You’ll always lose.

Don’t Make This A Me vs. You Thing

The last thing you want to do is present watching fights as a brutal battle between her interest and yours. You never want to engage in a well last weekend we planted flowers so this weekend we’re watching slam dunks kind of debate because it never makes sense.

Women have this weird way of rationalizing fairness in their heads in a way that I can’t even begin to comprehend. The second you make fights about you and your stupid interests, is the second she’ll dig around to try and find something that she has in her life that matches your love of MMA. Then you’re stuck.

Make Her Realize What MMA and TMZ Have In Common

Half the reason a lot of people follow sports is the sheer adrenalin rush of competition and the thirst to live vicariously through our favorite fighter trying to win or hold a title. The other half is because of the drama.

Just admit it already.

You love hearing about the drama surrounding fighters. So why not tell her about them? If your girlfriend loves the kind of smut they roll out on TMZ, then she’ll feast on the kind of knee-slapping hilarity that happens in MMA.

Nah, people don’t think he’s crazy because of his goofy haircuts. Last week that guy threatened to motorboat his opponent.

Educate Her On The Craft

You know that annoying person who comes in to a movie half way through and asks all the annoying questions like, Who’s that guy? and Why’s he doing that!?!.

That’s what it’s like to watch MMA when you have no idea what’s happening.

If she doesn’t know what a heel hook is, why people pull Guard, or that Ground and Pound is not a bedroom technique, then she’ll just get frustrated.

Slowly tell her why certain fighters play certain games, and enlighten her on what makes players like GSP so damn fun to watch. In the process, the next thing happens…

Find Her A Favorite Fighter”

As your girlfriend starts to realize that there are some real juicy storylines in MMA, and some incredible personalities, she’ll start to gravitate towards certain fighters and it’s your job to encourage it. This is your duty to her.

If she’s remotely broaching the idea of liking a particular tfighter, then it’s your job to do everything right so she a) doesn’t pick an awful fighter and b) doesn’t make MMA a passing fancy.

Once she gets attached to a favorite fighter, you’ve pretty much won her over. Buy her a tshirt. Support this new endeavor of hers in every way possible but make sure it’s her choice and not yours.

Now that you’ve got her hooked, convince her that sports are a social event that can lead to fun with friends—and romance. Yes—romance.

Make Saturday A Social Event

Once she realizes that fights serve as a common bond for you and your buddies, she’ll want to join in the fun. It’s a proven fact that girls feel alienated by sports-based gatherings because they feel they don’t belong. If she knows what she’s watching, and is able to understand why the hell everyone is so excited, she won’t even notice that your buddy just urinated on the couch or that somebody broke her favorite lamp.

Take Her To The Fights—In A Different City

It’s really the simplest way to get her to like spofightsrts. Make it a date night and while you’re treating her to a nice dinner near the arena, tell her why the fights are going to be famous.

Take her to Vegas and shell out for tickets to a UFC event so she can see what real men look like (and why she’s glad you’re not an Ed Hardy wearing douchebag like most UFC fans—”I’ll take an extra-medium…gotta show off my pipes…). She’ll realize that your relationship is only partly about sports, especially if the trip is littered with nice dinners, tours of a cool city and romantic hotel sex.

Before you know it, you’ll have a girlfriend that suddenly likes fights and all your buddies will be jealous. And hell, if you can make fights a common ground for you and your lady, then you’re half way to heaven. The next step is teaching her how to make a great Reuben Sammich .

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