Fighting inertia: The sadness of Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson
Rampage: “Now I look back on it, and I wish that I would have just stayed back home with my family.”
Sometimes Quinton Rampage Jackson says stuff just to say it. Stupid stuff.
Take, for any number of numerous examples, the garbage he’s said while sexually harassing female reporters over the years. At best, all that was drivel, at worst, he should have been taken to task by the reporters’ companies and his own promoters in a serious way.
Sometimes Jackson Be Humping, and sometimes he throws out silly trash talk about stank breath, and the like. Fans can love or throw away as much of all that as they want.
In between all the nonsense, however, Jackson also has a penchant for deep earnestness. That’s something that shouldn’t ever be dismissed, especially if it points to the type of quiet sadness that Jackson’s recent ESPN interview comments about what he termed his greatest regret did.
Jackson has a rematch with Muhammad King Mo Lawal coming up March 31 in Rosemont, IL, near Chicago. The fight is kind of a big deal for their promoter, Bellator.
For Jackson, however, it appears to just be another fight in a career he told ESPN that he actually summarily regrets. I would have to honestly say that my biggest regret is even starting this sport.
Jackson reflected with sadness on how far away his world in California is from the one he left behind in Memphis, TN. The fighter, one of the most popular and successful in MMA history, spoke of not even knowing his own family anymore.
My dream was to go and be a fighter, he continued. But then now I look back on it, and I wish that I would have just stayed back home with my family.
In American mythological collective consciousness the virtues of chasing one’s dreams is often unquestioned. Chasing a high-yield is what we do.
It’s romantic and gutsy. After nearly 20 years of indulging his talents and achieving great success, Jackson is saying he didn’t know all that he would lose even after getting to cash-in on his dreams.
Fans of the legend shouldn’t take his words lightly. In addition to his somber tone in that interview, we must remember that Jackson has such a long history of becoming disillusioned with his career that, looking back, it seems likely it lost its charm for him over a decade ago.
Jackson seemed to first speak out about professional unhappiness when he wanted out of Pride because he was saddened by their treatment of him. Not long after he got to the UFC for the first time, Jackson once again felt a bit misused and uncared for when, fascinatingly, he was given a title-shot after just one fight.
Jackson told me at the time that he was hurt by the boos he got from American fans when he was pitted against domestic hero Chuck Liddell and wished he’d been more built-up in front of the UFC audience before being given the chance to knock The Iceman out for a second time.
Years later Jackson would once again become dispirited professionally, citing poor handling of his career by the UFC and a supposed lack of respect from his promoter. So, he left to Bellator where he said he was promised the moon and the stars.
When, predictably, little of that constellation was delivered to Jackson, the former champ once again took an emotional hit, resulting in a fleeting return to the UFC. Now, back in Bellator by legal decree and against his own will, Jackson fights on and fights well, but with a depressingly low amount of enthusiasm.
Jackson, a clearly sensitive person, has long railed against what are essentially objectifications by others of his talents, personality, skill. The fight world usually treats fighters as commodities and it’s an injustice Jackson has always been finely attuned to, if only after it was a bit too late.
Fans may only think of Jackson’s considerable athletic accomplishments when they look at his career. To the man himself, however, his career and dream-chasing has been experienced as a much more multi-faceted and dark thing.
Yes, he’s won titles and beaten the best. Jackson has also, however, been slighted by promoters, and betrayed by coaches and managers in whom he invested too much trust and gave too much legal control over his life and estate. He’s also had pretty public psychic breaks, including a monster-truck police chase that landed him in jail, often admittedly prepares for fights in a lackluster way and, now, is experiencing a whole lot of explicit guilt and regret.
Jackson said he may have been better off living in Memphis instead of Southern California. I don’t blame him, and have to take him at his word, there.
What concerns me is that, just days before a big fight with a dangerous opponent, Jackson is not looking ahead or even being fully present. Instead, he’s actively thinking about how he regrets where he finds himself, now, in a fundamental way.
Taken together with years of his walking around too heavy in between fights, lack of interest in training and fights, and – perhaps most telling – an expressed switch in priorities from winning to simply using his body to entertain fans. Jackson says he might be better off living Memphis than in California.
I’m not sure he also wouldn’t be better off in Memphis this week than in Chicago. Quinton Rampage Jackson can still fight and win, but he doesn’t seem to like what it’s doing to him or where it’s taking him.
About the author:
Elias Cepeda has served as a writer and editor covering mixed martial arts and combat sports, as well as public and cultural affairs, since 2005. He began as a staff writer for InsideFighting, and not long thereafter became publisher and editor of the page. Cepeda then went to write for Yahoo! Sports’ boxing and MMA pages, and edited their Cagewriter blog. He was hired away by FOX Sports, but after several years departed over philosophical differences with the executive leadership around important issues of journalism ethics. A student of and sometime competitor in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and MMA since 1999, Elias brings a unique and vibrant presence to reporting, and enjoys trying to highlight shared humanity and connect common experiences from seemingly different worlds.
