In July USADA announced that UFC middleweight Ricardo Abreu had been suspended for the full two years for failing an anti-doping test. On Thursday the fighter was notified of another potential USADA violation, stemming from a sample collection on Dec. 21. Today, he retired at age 32.

The first suspension ended on July 1, 2018. The penalty for a second violation is double the first one, putting his return off to July 1, 2022. And as suspended fighters remain subject to anti-doping tests, there was the possibility of a third suspension, which would be double again.

An interview with Guilherme Cruz for MMA Fighting, the fighter attributed the failed test to treatment for depression. He said he had long had symptoms of depression, but then left Vegas where he trained with Wanderlei Silva and moved to California. There he secured a sponsor in Brazil that enabled him to train full time. He moved to Jackson-Wink in Albuquerque, where the cost of living is lower, but the financial crisis in Brazil plus the Reebok deal ended that.

You make a living with sponsors, not with the purse the UFC pays you, he said. “Sometimes the money you make through sponsors is bigger than the fight itself. But it doesn’t make sense to sponsor a fighter if he can’t use your brand in the UFC. I understand them. I’m not criticizing the UFC. I love the company, it’s one of the biggest companies in the world, but that was the reality. That’s what happened.

I already had a three-year old son and my wife [who did not have papers to work in the US] was pregnant, and I had no idea if we would have money the next month. I was afraid, and that fear dominated me. I was already a little depressed, and that depression only got bigger. I was afraid of everything. I had no courage for nothing, no energy. I thought nothing would work. I started to go down.

I decided to visit a psychologist after some time and he said I had depression. He said it wasn’t severe, but it wasn’t light either. It was horrible. The idea of taking medication, I thought it was something for weak people, crazy people.”

I said I was sick, sent [the UFC] a letter saying I wasn’t fit to fight, and started the treatment. I got better right away. I was happier. I don’t regret doing it. … I was getting better from the depression, but my body still felt weird. My doctor asked me to do a blood work and check my levels, and my levels were all over the place, so he suggested doing a bioidentical hormone replacement.

Then USADA showed up for a random test.

“I didn’t even ask to test the B sample because I knew what was going on since the beginning,” said Abreu. “I never blamed tainted meat, tainted anything. And they showed up a few weeks ago to test me again, and it’s obvious that some traces of the medication would still be in my body.”

I never hid this from anyone. I think that they releasing this now, that I failed another test last year, is a misconception of what is really going on with my life. People will see me as a cheater, but it’s not the case. I’ve got to a point where my body doesn’t produce the things I need.”

This retirement is to prove that this is my focus – Feeling better, living with my family and friends, enjoying life, having energy to play with my kids, that’s what matters to me. Unfortunately, I can’t get a medical license from the UFC to get treatment, so this happened. But now I have time to take care of myself and be happy. Life is good.