UFC 235: The Thrill and the Agony shows the moments immediately after referee Herb Dean mistakenly stopped Robbie Lawler vs. Ben Askren. Confusion shows on Dean’s face and in his voice, while there is extraordinary kindness in Lawler.

Robbie Lawler: What the f@$% are you doing?

Herb Dean: I thought you [makes limp arm motions]

RL: I didn’t. What the f@#$?

The fighter then immediately recovers his composure, taps hands with Dean, and embraces him.

RL: It’s alright.

RL: Herb, Herb, hey, hey, don’t f@$%ing worry about it. You’re a f@$%ing hell of a ref.

HD: No, man, no, I don’t understand how, how, like I saw your arm limp, I grabbed it, but I didn’t know.

RL: And then I gave you a thumbs up.

HD: I didn’t know. I didn’t see you give me a thumbs up. F@$%.

RL: It happens man – $#!@ happens.

What happened is not an indictment of Herb Dean, who is one of the best refs in the history of the sport. Fighters don’t fight perfectly and referees don’t officiate perfectly. And in this case, Herb Dean made an error. 

I have worked multiple corners where Dean was the referee. Backstage before the fight, he explains one on one, in a highly professional manner, that if you are caught in a choke, do not compromise yourself, but let him know you are OK. Dean suggests a thumbs up as one way to do that. Lawler gave him a thumbs up, but Dean must, unfortunately, have been out of position to see the hand.

Refereeing is the most thankless task in combat sports. No fighter ever thinks a ref error was responsible for their win. But countless times fighters blame the ref for a loss. The three lessons from this unfortunate episode are that Herb Dean is human, Robbie Lawler is an awesome human being, and anyone who isn’t clear that this was a bad stoppage has a compromised understanding of mixed martial arts.